CHANGES IN ATTITUDE, CHANGES IN LATTITUDE

To be sure, change is certain.  Even if you sit still and don't move for hours, the world will change around you, it is inevitable.  The sun rises and sets, the seasons change, life moves ahead with lots of twists and turns and undulating emotions to go along on the ride.  This is a year of changes for me.  So many changes just in the month of April!  My daughter Emily played the role of Penny in her high school's production of Hairspray, and I did the costuming.  My granddaughter Quinn lost her first tooth!  Emily went to senior prom, and my niece got married. 

      

 

Today my two one year old "baby" kitties, Pistachio and Spumoni went to the vet to get "snipped".  It had to get done, it is the responsible pet owner thing to do.......but I still have to admit I felt a little tug on my heart strings as I saw them go off to a new fate.  They will come home wobbly and groggy.  It will probably take a few days for them to get used to the change.....and life will go on. 

Another big change coming up is that I will be getting another grand child in just about eight weeks!  My son and his fiancee are having their second child, and it will be a little girl.  I am so excited to meet her!  Then I will be the mother of three and the grandmother of three.

I will be turning 60 in August!!  SIXTY!??  WHAT?  How can that be?  Where did the time go?  I am NOT ready to be 60 -- that means that I'll be 70 in only ten years!  I'm still not sure what I am going to be when I grown up!!  How did this happen, when did a 30 year mortgage become improbable?!!  Does everyone feel this way?  Sure I am a bit more "creaky and crinkly" than I used to be, and I can't heave a 50 pound bag of animal feed over my shoulder any more........or lift a bale of hay.......or climb very far up a ladder.......oh....um.....but still where did the time go?

My daughter Emily also has to declare a college today.  Wow........that is a big one.  I think that she is going to chose the school that is 350 miles from home, near the Bay Area.  Still on the West Coast -- but a big move for sure!! My last birdie to leave the nest.  I am sure that we both have our own feelings of excitement and anxiety about this.  Hers centered around leaving home and embarking on a new life full of adventures and life lessons.  My feelings....hmmm.

I won't kid you.......I am scared spitless!  I have been a single Mom for so long that it has become my identity.  Oh I have had my "brilliant careers", but the one thing that I have been for 33 years is a Mom.  My husbands came and went.....but I kept the home fires burning.  I embraced my Mom-hood.  I did the birthday parties, Halloweens, Thanksgivings.  I was the Santa, tooth fairy and the Easter Bunny with aplomb!  I reveled in it.  I was every officer of the PTA, sold thousands of dollars of fundraiser items, parked cars for rose parades, baked cookies for bake sales, organized teacher appreciation meals, and made hundreds of pot luck dishes.  I was also a Girl Scout Troop Leader for five years and sold cookies in front of grocery stores, thought of new and fun ideas for meetings, organized camp-outs, field trips and parties. I drove kids to soccer, basketball, piano, guitar, dance, acting and horseback riding lessons.  My house has been the site of many sleepovers, lots of laughter and silliness.  I have loved being a Mom with the ups and downs, hugs and tears. 

I have been a second Mom to a lot of other kids too, my nieces and nephews, my kids best friends -- I am that "Mom that talks to kids" -- sometimes (I'm sure) to my kids own chagrin!  I have always talked to children like I am interested and that I think that they have something important to say.  I have listened to.  You would be surprised some of the things I have heard. You have to pick your fights in this job, and recognize your boundaries -- but I have listened.....and I have learned.  

I haven't, however, made much of a life for myself.  Ahhh.....I have been a little busy.  So with trepidation I am looking to my future -- knowing that by the end of the summer I will be ALONE.

There, I said it.  Oh, my daughter Emily has had a very busy social life the last couple of years,  but up until 14 months ago, there were seven of us living here. My older kids and their kids moved out and then it has been me and Emily.  I have had to learn to keep busy......but this will be different.  There won't be the giggling girls coming in after a night out, or the boys clomping up and down the front stairs.  I haven't the faintest idea how to cook for one, or what to do with the rooms, or the yards, or the silence.  I don't have a developed circle of friends around me any more.  I'm not even sure what grown ups talk about!  HA! 

KIDS -- they come into your life.....take it by storm.....and just when you've got the hang of making room for them..........they go.  And now I guess that I am supposed to adapt.  Whew.....a pretty big order that is for sure.  It will be a new challenge......I am all most sure I will start to talk to myself (a nod to you Uncle Jim) -- or get more animals......they are good listeners.  I am blessed to have my older kids and grandchildren nearby, and I am fortunate, and very happy for that.  Otherwise?  I guess this will be the beginning of "Grandma Leslie's BIG ADVENTURE".  I will keep you posted!

To quote Jimmy Buffet in his song:

"It's these changes in latitudes, changes in attitudes
Nothing remains quite the same
With all of our running and all of our cunning
If we couldn't laugh we would all go insane."